I say this every time I see it, but this is pretty much how my dirty talking goes. Like: “Oh man I wanna see your dick even though it’s kind of weird because let’s face it, dicks just look funny.” “I’ll put that in my mouth I guess.” “Mmm, yeah, gonna show you all the tits, even though one is smaller than the other… what if one is just leeching mass from the other and one day I’m gonna wake up with one tiny boob and one massive one, and then the massive one eats my entire body? Oh sorry, wasn’t sexy - mmm, yeah, I’ll touch you on the penis.”

(via wienerd)